March has been our month, lots of magical 100s popping up on our blood sugar checks. First month out of honeymoon, I’ll take it. I consider this awesome because our kiddo doesn’t have a continuous glucose monitor (cgm) that tells what her blood sugar levels are every 5 minutes. We still do the old school, poke her finger and check, up to 10 times a day, to see where her levels are. I guess this does give us more of an opportunity for that magical number to appear on the blood glucose meter. Despite this month’s pictures and triumphs — it’s not all rainbows and unicorns. Shocking, I know…
I brag about the unicorns and talk about the rainbows because people don’t want to hear about the rest.
No one wants to hear about feeding our daughter smarties at midnight for a low of 67. Two rolls to get her blood glucose above 80, this is followed by one half cup of whole milk to keep her stable through the rest of the night. Knowing that Fairlife milk has just the right mix of fat and protein without a ton of carbs. Setting an alarm, which is really just a formality, we don’t fall back asleep because if her level drops too low again she could have a seizure or simply never wake up, to recheck in two hours. When her blood glucose is over 150 at this point, then we can settle into a semi-restful sleep.
No one wants to hear about the midnight checks when her blood glucose level is over 350 for no apparent reason. We program in a correction dose of insulin and deliver it to a sleeping child. Set an alarm, once again this is just a formality, as no one is going back to sleep, for one hour later. We recheck to make sure that her levels are coming down, we need to rule out the possibility of a bad pump site, yet make sure that her blood glucose isn’t dropping too rapidly. We need to make sure she isn’t heading into the realm of diabetic ketoacidosis (DKA). Then the alarm is set again, this time as long as the number is good, we will fall back asleep, only to wake up in 2 hours to make sure that she’s stable at the 3ish hour mark after receiving the correction.
Oh and don’t worry, she’ll be waking up at her usual time, around 0730am, because she doesn’t arouse for finger pokes any longer. She has even learned to eat smarties in her sleep and won’t remember it in the morning. We wear the headlamp and fumble around with the glucose meter, poker, test strips, and a cotton ball. We are the ones who appear tired during the day, have dark undereye circles that don’t ever disappear, and secretly long for a child who takes naps. I’m lucky that I have a great husband who shares the duties and is willing to trade-off nights so we both can get some sleep and have some semblance of normal.
Sprinkle in the fact that Frankie is a typical three year old. She is testing her boundaries. Her current specialty is drawing out bedtime to over an hour, more books, potty time and water breaks. She is throwing the occasional temper tantrum, often because we won’t let her do something pretty dangerous, or simply because I don’t want to push the fucking car cart at King Soopers. Oh and to top it off she is feisty as hell — I wonder where she gets that.
This is just a sneak peek into our lives. It’s the hand we’ve been dealt and we are trying to play it well. Doing this all while maintaining our friendships, sense of humor, and our relationship. We’re also trying to raise a well-adjusted tiny human who looks at the world around her with amazement and curiosity. All of this means my coffee habit has exploded from something I simply enjoyed at a higher than normal level to something I need at a higher than normal level in order to simply exist in my life. And I drink it black, because who needs sugar when your life is engulfed in rainbows and unicorns.